Wednesday, February 6, 2008

God speaks to me

I'm taking a class at church, "Discerning the Voice of God." It's a study by Pricsella Sellers and it's amazing. I always have wanted to hear God speak to me more but now I'm realizing he has been, I've just not been noticing or I didn't think it was Him. I do notice that when I'm reading his word daily I hear him more, I notice the signs he gives me, the words of encouragement or wisdom. But lately I've been letting life get in the way of carving out time for him. Whenever I'm doing a class I notice my walk with him gets stronger. I MAKE myself MAKE the time for him. I need to be more disciplined.

I can remember two moments in my life (more recently) that God spoke clearly to me and the peace that came over me was overwelming. One situation was back when Boston was 3 and Dallas was 18 months I was planning on putting them both in the Mom's Day Out program at our church (by the way...this isn't a free program like it used to be when I was a kid...so expensive!) Anyhow...Sean and I had discussed it (notice I didn't discuss it with God) and decided it would be a good thing. But on one praticularly stressful day with the kids, a VERY stressful day with the kids, I was in the middle of the living room floor crying out to God "Why does this have to be so hard." And just as clear as day he answered, "It doesn't have to be. You are making it this hard. Don't enroll the boys in Mom's Day out next year and you will be blessed." PEACE Peace like a river flowed into my soul and my heart was happy and still. And then my human head kicked back in with a million questions and contraditions to why that would not be a good thing. "Really?" I answered. "How can NOT putting them in help me out?" This was in May. I planned on following His plan, but never actually told the school. Thinking maybe God would change his mind (The $160 in deposits was not refundable). But come August God had not spoke any differently to me about it and I called the program and told them I would not be putting either of the boys in. And what an awesome year it was with them. I got pregnant that summer with Asher and my first trimester was so tiring. I couldn't have imagined trying to get everyone up and out the door 3 days a week. It would have been so stressful, all the rushing and driving. We had a wonderful time together, especially before adding another member to the family. I hope to hear God more clearly now so I can be blessed with peace like that more often. When I'm on God's path for me it all just make since.

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