I so often ask Him, "Why me Lord? Why give me children who have these extra needs that most don't have? Why send me down this dark road that not many have walked before? I'm not strong enough" As we venture into testing for our oldest son the road is all too familiar. The doctors all know me. I understand the diagnosis's. And I know the process. But I get tired of living in a world filled with so many letters: ASD, SPD, VPD, ADHD.....And the devil fills my head with "You aren't the right mom. You aren't doing enough. You aren't....no...aren't....can't....." But I press on, holding onto God with a fishing wire thin string with white fisted knuckles.
Then....this morning....He spoke to me. I was catching up with my dear old college friend Erica and we were sharing Autism war stores and the words came out of my mouth, "God gave them to us because He knew we would be the moms to FIGHT for them. And we have girl. With doctors who didn't support our initial gut feelings we took the bull by the horns and went at it full force. And our kids are healing because of it." They are not just surviving.....they are thriving! I have never had that thought before, but the Holy Spirit moved in me and not just spoke it to Erica, but also to me....through me. They weren't my words but His.
I am the right mommy for these kids. I have fought the good fight and will continue to do so. I have researched enough to be well on my way to my PHd in Aspergers, ADHD, SPD, VPD, gluten free-casin free, supplements, supplements, and more supplements.
I am aware of all the numbers:
- 4-7% of population with ADHD,
- 0.3% have Aspergers,
- 5% have Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD),
- 80% of marriages with a child on the Autistic Spectrum end in divorce.
The odds are stacked up against us on paper but we have a secret weapon. God. We can do ALL things through Him and the glory will be to Him for He will be the one to work it all out for His good.
So to all the parents of children on the spectrum, I understand your days. I know the difficulties presented each day. And I know that it's not in our power to do it on our own. So look up and not within. Open up the Word and let His words empower you with the perspective you need to get through the hour, the day and the week. You are amazing in His eyes and you should feel blessed to know that he thinks so much of you to bless you with these challenges.
(I have to add that Boston insisted on taking a "serious" picture and that's the photo above.)