Facing people, Gymnastics, and Jessica coming

In so many ways I felt like lift stopped moving on Friday and it's been a struggle to regain normalcy. Wednesday I worked hard to bring it back. Dropping the boys at school, cleaning the house while Asher napped, playing with Dallas when he got home and picking up Boston from school.

Sean and I had decided we would wait to tell the kids what happened until Friday, so it wouldn't upset them all week with school. But I soon found out that several of my friends had told their kids and worried that they would hear something tonight at church I called Sean and we decided I needed to tell them today. So when we got home from school I sat them down and said that the baby in my belly had gotten a little sick and God decided to bring it up to heaven to be with him. Boston got up right away, without saying anything, and walked outside to play with his trains. When I went out to see if he was okay he said he just wanted to play trains. I could tell he was internalizing it and just let him be. Dallas suggested that I put Asher back in my belly. LOL

Boston has been begging to take gymnastics for months so I signed him up for a trail class and we went to that this afternoon. The gym is this huge, well known gym that has a lot of competitive gymnasts. To say the least Boston got VERY overwhelmed when he walked in and started to freak out saying he wasn't going to do it. I felt like all the eyes were on me, with the parents thinking I was pushing him into this. I wanted to say, HE begged ME ladies. Anyhow...we ended up just watching and he enjoyed that and says he wants to come back when he's ready. Dallas was ready to jump out there right then!

Right after this we went right down the street to our church Wednesday night functions. The kids has there fun stuff with their friends and mommy is taking the Creative Correction series by Lisa Welchel...I LOVE Lisa Welchel!! To be honest I was VERY nervous about going. Would I cry everytime someone gave me a hug to say they were sorry? Would I cry when I ran into someone that didn't know and congratulated me on the pregnancy? I just wanted to race in and out without seeing many people in fear of where my emotions would go. All day I've done very well and have been very surprised with the peace and strength I have had. Butterflies swarmed my stomach when I drove in. My emotions are so raw right now I never know what to expect. I so badly wanted a coke once I got there but going into fellowship hall where everyone was eating was too overwhelming for me today. So I called my friend Carrie, since I knew she wasn't bringing her kids. She did even better than bring me a coke, she brought me one from McDonalds, the BEST cokes on earth, AND she brought me, Val and her milkshakes. Food and Friendship, it just doesn't get any better!

I ran into MANY MANY people. We got to a HUGE church so it was inevitable. I had many congratulations on the pregnancy that I had to explain. And many hugs from sad faces. Surprisingly I kept it together and was calm and collected and focused on God. It was a great evening and I'm glad I came.

Then I put the kids to bed and went to the airport to pick up Jess. It was so great to see her! We talked and talked and enjoyed each others company. She came bearing hands for a foot massage and it was just great to BE with her. I'm still in awe of how God orchestrated her coming here now.

(I don't like the evenings...I don't want to go to bed lately. Or I should say I have a hard time going to sleep. My mind is always racing.)