Buring Shiloh

I had several people suggest to us that we should name the baby. At first I didn't want to, but then I thought it might be a good idea. So I was looking online for some baby names and came across an article about naming your miscarried baby and how important it is for your healing and also for the other children in the family. If you don't they feel like they have to continue the importance of the baby all on their own. But none of the names Sean and I had even discussed felt like they fit the baby. Especially because we didn't know the sex yet.

So I knew the name needed to be a name that could be for a boy or a girl. I also wanted the name to be a city name to continue on our city naming tradition. I wanted to like the sound of the name. And finally I wanted the name to mean something great, something to do with their short life, and how meaningful it was, even at its short length. I had no idea how I was going to find a name that met all those criteria so....I PRAYED. As I was searching online I stopped and prayed to God to give me the perfect name and for me to know right away that it was the right one. Then, out of nowhere in my searching the name just leap off the screen at me

SHILOH

What a BEAUTIFUL name! Then I started reading about it:

It's a boy or girls name

I love the sound of it

It was the site of a crucial battle in the American Civil War

It means "His Gift" or "God's Gift"

Also means "he who was sent"

Could there be a more PERFECT name? There is no question in my mind that this name was given to me by God. I have never even heard of anyone named Shiloh before. And to be honest, it feels so right. And it feels nice to have given a name to our baby.

Monday morning Sean and I buried Shiloh by ourselves at the lakehouse. Everyone else was off doing other things and we took a moment to be quiet and find a perfect stop at the lake, over looking the water and near the kids playground. We didn't pray because honestly I don't think we could have gotten through a prayer. God knew our thoughts and he knows our hearts and nothing needed to be said. This baby was and is loved deeply and we will look forward to one day meeting him or her in heaven. (of course Sean still swears it was a boy.) I plan on getting or making a rock of some kind with a saying, verse or something on it. Don't know what yet, but I'm sure God will lead me to it just as he has everything else.

There seemed to be so much stress lifted off of my shoulders that I didn't even know I was caring around. It was like it was all finalized and done and now I can continue to move forward. I think the burial was stressing me out and I didn't even know it. A part of me didn't want to bury Shiloh because it seemed to be the forever goodbye. I was holding on to him/her. But once I let Shiloh go it was a freeing to me. I know it wasn't for forever and what a great gift I have waiting for me when I arrive. I can only think of my grandma holding my precious baby in heaven. What a beautiful site! Now she has truly gotten to meet one of my children.