Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone!

Today I placed the marker where we buried Shiloh. I bought this very soon after I miscarried but it's taken me this long to place it where we buried her/him. It reads, "He hath made everything beautiful in his time. Ecc 3:16" For some reason it really made perfect since to me. For others it may not. But for me I know that He's made our 4th child "perfect in His time" and that he/she is in heaven running around and playing with a perfectly completed body, even though I only carried her/him for about 8 weeks.

It was an odd way to start out the New Year to many but for me it was me moving closer to understanding the whole miscarriage. I think with each month that goes by it seems to get a little bit harder. I thought it would only get easier. I guess each month I get a little "reminder" that I'm NOT pregnant and that's when I usually have the hardest moments. I know the reality of it all is that it was all in God's perfect timing, but it still doesn't reason out any pain that miscarring may cause. I do feel each month God is shaping me, He's growing me, and down the road I'll be a much better woman because of the hardships He's let me walk through. For sure the end of 2008 has been a rocky one for me emotionally. It seemed I kept stubbing my toe with something here and there. So I'm very happy to be starting this New Year!

We are moving closer to knowing what all the results are with Dallas. The neuropshycologist is leaning away from him being in the spectrum which would be AWESOME!!! Boston is getting his cast off on Monday and hopefully that will be all healed. And I'm on my way to being back to my old figure again! So things are looking up for 2009. I'm here and ready to face this new day!!