Are you there God? It's me Cricket

Do you remember this kids book? "Are you there God? It's me Margret" I feel like I keep asking God this question.

• Especially on hard days when the minutes seem to pass by ever so slowly and I feel like I'm trying my best to be the best mommy I can be.
  


• Especially on those days when I wake up with no energy and gulp down a coke and eat some chocolate to get my engine running.
  


• Especially on those days when Dallas starts the day out with a tantrum and Asher is screaming "NO!" at me.
  


• Especially on the days when it feels like there's total silence on the other end.
  Are you there God? Are you tired of my pleas for help? Are you tired of me trying to do it all on my own?

Grace.

It's the most beautiful word in the English language and I've just recently really started to understand what it means.

• It means that when I cry out to God, to him it sounds like a beautiful song.



• When I feel like I'm failing, to Him I'm beautiful and perfect.



• When I get angry at the kids, they forget about it totally and look at me like I'm supermom.



• That I can go to Him, even if I haven't read my bible or prayed much in days, and He's right there waiting for me with no judgement.



• I means I can sin and He still wants me to come to Him.



• It means I'm forgiven, no matter how bad I mess up.

For a busy mom I feel guilty because I don't have time to read my bible or pray or do devotions daily. And when I do the devil even sneaks in and tells me "you didn't read enough, you didn't pray enough." I heard some good advice that said "His grace is sufficient." Its not WHAT I do that makes me closer to him.

It's my heart. It's the relationship. It's the faith.

I often used to look at my relationship to Jesus much like one here on Earth. If I didn't put in the effort He wouldn't want to talk to me because I wasn't trying to make the relationship work. In my mind this made since. But Jesus is so much bigger than me. He love and grace mean that it doesn't matter how much or how little I come to Him, he STILL loves me the same.

I recently heard the song "Better than a Hallelujah" by Amy Grant. Wow. It speaks volumes to me.